climbing mountains

Sometimes In life you end up doing things that you know deep down are just not what you wanna do. 

It could be anything from not really being bothered to do the washing up one day to being dragged to the shops against your own will. 

Admittedly we all have choices and the option to make these choices aren't always easy, not everything in life is as easy as 1-2-3. 

When I was a child I had to make the hardest decision of my life. Before the age of 13 that was. It was the decision to have corrective surgery. This was the choice to have both my legs broken by surgeons and set straight. It was done in my hips and meant I would no longer walk with my toes pointing inwards. 

One of the things that helped me with my decision was the bullies. The girls that taunted me for not being able to walk straight. I remember the day that one girl imparticular followed me home from school. She was chasing me. She pushed me into the bush. I was lucky that day because she was stopped by a woman I never knew who managed to give me a few seconds more to get home and lock the door behind me. 

On top of the bullies was the falling over. Constant scabs on my knees from falling into the gravel (not that it's changed much) just by falling over my own feet. 

I remember when I made the choice to have my legs broken it was going to be a massive thing. Maybe I didn't understand all of the things that would follow from having the surgery. But I mainly knew. 

The first surgery took around 8 hours. Because the operation took so long I lost a lot of blood and that meant I hadn't to have blood given to me. It makes me sad now. Because of that I can't give blood myself now. I spent months in a wheelchair and bed. And then again on crutches. I had to learn to walk again, because where I hadn't used my legs for so long the muscles had literally disappeared. So I had to literally find my feet again. I remember it wasn't easy. I think in the back of my head I thought I would be able to just stand up out of the wheelchair I'd been stuck in and just walk... as I said, it really didn't work like that. 

2 surgeries, months of being between crutches and a wheelbchair I was finally back on my feet. Literally. It took a long time. But I got there. 

I still have a few problems with my hips now. Nothing like the pain I'd gone through before, but the odd tingle. And ofcourse not to mention the 2 double scars on each of my hip. 

I've been talking to lots of people recently about desicions and plans for my future. And I have a constant buzz of mind flow of what's gonna happen soon.

I started thinking about the operation because it had been a major thing that I had got through, and when I think about what I have achieved since then . To me it proves something major. 

Ok I'm gonna be really cliche here. But if I can get through this. As well as half the other shit I've been through I can get through anything. 

Sometimes it takes one thing. One person. One moment. To change a perception of the things going on in life. One you have that's thing. Hold on to it. Don't ever loose it. Because they will be your rock and together even when you have to do things you don't want too in the mean time. There will really be a happy ending.